The soles of her feet

I had a bit of a moment as I was taking an evening bath the other day. An epiphany of sorts. The kind of sudden realisation that feels like divine revelation and can be completely life altering if you let it. The thing happened as I was scrubbing my feet, banal as that may sound, I swear something absolutely profound happened. Let me tell you.

Self love is a funny thing with me in that it’s seasonal. Sometimes I am so in love with me and taking great care of myself, happy and at peace. During these times I take long elaborate baths and love on myself with scented products, salts and all the paraphernalia of self care. When I feel down, fat and ugly the lack of love shows in my routine. Most days I can barely drag myself through the shortest of baths. The thing that suffers most of all during these down seasons is my feet. One look at the soles of my feet can tell you all you need to know about my state of mind.

So with the hope to turn a particularly shitty day around I planned a long, elaborate bath. Doing the complete opposite of what you are feeling has a way of making you feel different. As I soaked, washed and scrubbed, a heaviness I had been feeling began to melt away. My head cleared. My muscles let up and in the excitement of it all I set about tending to my feet.

And while I was massaging them I felt so loved, so taken care off. I mean, touch is definitely a love language here. Then it occurred to me how long it had been since I did this for myself and what that says about how I have been feeling about myself. If tending to myself makes me feel so loved then taking time to give TLC to my feet , which I care zero for, is the ultimate act of love isn’t it? Caring for the least is the ultimate care there is, it’s a high form of love for the self.

In that moment I realised there’s a love we give to ourselves that’s due to even the parts of ourselves that we hate. The ability to do that consistently shows just healed we are, how whole we are as we move through this life. I have a ways to go here but I am starting. A daily practice was born out of this experience.

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