Small wins

Ever wonder how the big ships feel when anchored on the dock too long? Do they miss the sea? Do they long to be out in the water, chasing the wind, no land in sight? Do they just float and enjoy the moment knowing they are built for the seas and it’s only a matter of time until they can do it all again? I feel like a big ass ship, built to ride the waves and show off her bows out in the world yet here we are – on the dock wasting time.

A friend said to me, “You really need to stop feeling stuck. Give yourself some grace. We are in the middle of a pandemic and just surviving is enough right now. Holding down your job, being there for your family, healing and stuff that’s a whole lot right there. The problem is you are a high achiever and so used to chasing big dreams that you feel like you are doing nothing because there are no big dreams-achieved for you to tick off your list”.

I felt that, hey. I felt it in that deep place only hard truths from people you know care deeply about you can hit. You know it’s true because they know you so well that they can’t be wrong about this. And that sucks, but in a good way.

I am a big dreamer, you see. List of goals as long as my arm. Big, hairy and audacious goals because why not, right? The way COVID-19 has brought parts of my life to a stand still really does feel like nothing worthwhile is happening. Its a kind of funk that’s hard to acknowledge, hard to cure.

But then I realised something. For now, while we are here unable to go after the big dreams and record big wins, the small ones will do too.

Plant a garden.
Clean your windows.
Declutter your lingerie drawer.
Buy something you really want.
Fall back in love with your partner, with yourself.
Lose weight.
Learn to paint or play an instrument.
Give to charity.
Do what you can, where you are.

Every achievement, no matter how small, brings joy just the same and stocks the fire of hope we need to make it through these trying times. And if you find yourself feeling like a big ship longing for the sea remember that your circumstances don’t change who you are and your destiny will always find you. If not now then later. Stay sharp.

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